When your children leave for university life

The house is quieter than normal, you know something is missing, no more text messages coming from upstairs saying “mum I’m hungry” Are you feeling it too?

The day that comes when your children go off to university. Some may say "peace at last", where others, like me went into mourning. I know, sounds a bit drastic right! but that is how I felt when my daughter went off to university this September maybe it’s because she is my youngest and the last to fly the nest or maybe as I am getting older the thought of my children living their own lives and being more independent makes me feel less needed. Even though my son came back home he pretty much looks after himself and my eldest daughter lives with her partner.

There have been nights where me and my husband have been laying in bed waiting for her to come home after a night out, I expect to see her car sitting outside. Are we the only one’s that have done this, felt like this? No, I know there are thousands of parents thinking the same, but I’m sure it will get easier, after all it’s only been the first week!

I know I have to unclip my daughter's wings and let her fly, let her experience life and how it is in the real world doing her own cooking and washing and being totally responsible for herself but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about her especially in this horrid covid time.

I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. I know she will have an amazing time and in all honesty it will be really good for her to learn these life skills and being out of her comfort zone, after all one day she will have her own home, but mum will always be there to pick up the pieces, or dirty laundry on the floor! So hang on in there, getting through that first week has been the hardest but I know she is fine and enjoying life and that is all I can ask for. Only another three years to go! haha. Sending big hugs to all mums and dads that are experiencing this separation too.

Jenny x Sign up to the mailing list on our website for all the latest news and products www.jennyfordauthor.com You can follow us on Face Book https://www.facebook.com/jennyfordauthor/

The Worst Nightmare A Parent Can Go Through - Child Loss

When you are in your teens you feel as if you are invincible and that nothing will ever happen to you and as you get older that still stays with you to an extent, ‘It will never happen to me’ I would say, until the day it did.

October the 12th 1991 was one of the happiest days of my life, my beautiful little girl Catriona was born she weighed 6lb 3oz and had a mop of dark hair I remember thinking how precious she was, she looked like a little doll. It took us three years to conceive with a little intervention I was finally going to have a baby and become a mum.

When we arrived on to the ward after I had given birth my midwife Lynn came to see us, she looked at Catriona and checked her over. “I’m not happy with the way she looks” she said to me and went to get the paediatrician, my now ex-husband and I just looked at each other. The paediatrician checked Catriona and reassured us that everything was fine, but you could tell by Lynn’s face that she wasn’t convinced. A few days later we took our precious little girl home.

Everything was perfect we finally had our happy family. A few months later something wasn’t right with Catriona she went off her milk and was continuously crying, we checked all the usual things when a baby cries but it just continued, the doctor sent us to the hospital where we stayed for a few days whilst they did some tests, even though they couldn’t find anything wrong the crying continued. “It looks like a little virus, she’s just a small baby there is nothing to worry about” and sent us home.

A few more months had passed, and Catriona was still off her food and still crying but it came in waves. We trusted the doctors when they said nothing was wrong, but something was very wrong. What was happening to our beautiful happy smiley little girl! She is now one of God’s beautiful little angels, her little body couldn’t fight anymore. Nothing is wrong the doctors said, how wrong were they. My midwife Lynn was right she knew something was wrong with Catriona when she was born but what was it. It’s been Twenty-Eight years now since our precious little girl left us. I am so blessed to have had Catriona for Seven and half months she showed me a love that I had never experienced before. I have since had three other healthy beautiful children who are my world and I know their big sister is always watching over them.

Now it’s time to share my story. Why now after all this time? As an author I know how powerful and healing the written word can be. It was whilst writing my story that I realised that I was not as healed as I thought even after all these years. Yes, it brought back memories, the feelings and emotions that were obviously buried deep inside but by the time I had finished writing the book my heart lifted and my healing was complete. You will never ever forget your precious child but with time and only in your time your heart will heal, It took me twenty eight years but that is only because I had not knowingly buried it, I had now found my way of releasing it.

The intention and purpose of writing the book and sharing my story are to help and inspire others who have lost a child and to maybe share their stories, not just the parents but grandparents, aunties, and uncles too, the loss has a big effect on the whole family. Writing is a very therapeutic way of releasing our feelings and emotions, by sharing your story will not only help you with your own grieving and healing process but it will also inspire and help others on their healing journey I’m not saying you must write a book but by writing down your feelings and emotions in a journal will make a difference. Until this day I have never used those words ‘It will never happen to me’! If you would like to read my story just click on the links below. Love and blessings

Jenny xxx

https://www.jennyfordauthor.com/product-page/the-loss-of-a-child-my-story https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loss-Child-My-Story/dp/1912243970/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1671438432&sr=8-1

#bereavement #child loss #healing #grieving

Living in Lockdown 2020

When the news was first released about the Corona Virus, I must admit that I really didn’t pay much attention to it until that is, when it started to spread across the world. One week before the official lockdown I decided to self-isolate, having Multiple Sclerosis, I am classed as a venerable.

I have looked at this lockdown with mixed emotions, panic, fear, anger and sadness. The more I got involved in watching the news reports the more drawn in I got to this pandemic which really was not doing me any good whatsoever, so I try to stay away from watching it as much as possible. Going shopping once a week wearing a mask and gloves is so stressful and so not normal, keeping your distance from others afraid that someone may cough or sneeze over you.

Stay home they say so that you save lives, but what about the life we live being locked up like a prisoner, where has our freedom of choice gone? And what about our immune system, besides having a healthy diet for those that can afford too surely we need to be exposed to certain things to build it up. Not going out in the sunshine getting a daily dose of vitamin D, not everyone has the luxury of a garden and for some are unable to get out at all, so where do you go, what do you do? If like me and I admit I was afraid to go out even for the daily half an hour exercise that is allowed but I have had to force myself even if it's only a few days just so I don't go insane. I have seen the effect that it has had on my elderly mum who lives in a care home, she looks tired, pale and has become extremely lonely, not seeing her most days like I am use to has had a massive impact on her.

Life certainly has been difficult to adjust to since these changes, changes that we are not use to, but when you look at the bigger picture and look at why this is happening then maybe just maybe we can start to understand.

Mother Earth is what keeps this planet going she takes care of nature, the sea and the environment that we live in and what have we done as human beings to help? We take life for granted, we don’t care what rubbish we through into the sea, we don’t care about the chemicals we use in products, we don’t care about polluting the air that we breath, so why should Mother Earth care! She is angry and I don’t blame her.

This pandemic has been a Hugh wake up call for us all to look at life with a fresh pair of eyes, it has given us the time to check in with ourselves and look at the life we lead and the changes we need to make. It is going to take a long time for things to get back to normal, whatever normal means anymore, but the one thing that we can take away from this is to be more mindful of how we take care of the planet, how to take care of the environment that we live in, how to take care of ourselves, and how to take care of each other.

Sadly, too many lives have been taken from this situation, we may not have any control over the Corona Virus but we do have the control to make the right choices and make the changes that are needed! Stay well, and stay safe until we can all be together again.

Jenny xxx

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